happier times

wondering the streets of coldness only brought back happiness , brought back that joy tat was still left in me

thinking of happier times only made me stronger , the times of laughter, the times of peace and the times spent together ..

all those thoughts pushed the bad ones all away , i cannot help but to hang on and wait , i cant help for feeling this way

sometimes just seomtimes i wish my sadness could be carried away during the nite and wake up with no memory

but its the happiness that clings onto my mind, it doesnt want to be let go , it doesnt want to disappear for now

knowing somebody from head to toe is hard to achieve knowing what they want is even harder,

always expect the unexpected..

thinking of you makes me smile and makes that hour past jut a little faster

not hearing from you makes me wonder where you are, if u are there or drifting away

saw a full rainbow just the other day, it was a sign of hope

thru time we will tell...

first day

so its 10 am , waking up and checking my phone was a habit i couldnt break .... i didnt want to reach over and have a look if i got an sms..

u were on the plan for the last 8 hrs.... told me , even asked me if u could sms me when u were in sg, that was 4 hrs ago when i shouldve gotten an sms and when u reached indo that would be na hr ago ..

i didnt receive either... i told u if would be hard to hear from one another.. maybe u took it and thought it was best not to msg ...

u are able to give me that hope of receiveing and yet u could take it away in an instant ...

thoughts keep floating in my head of the last conversation we had, why did u msg me to tell me those things,

why at the last min did u tell me u were hiding your feelings, and then leave it at that.

u didnt do anything about it, u just made matters more complicated for us to handle,

ur back at 4000 miles away, in a place i have no control of what you do, i cant just hop into the car and come knocking at 845am bringing breakfast at ur door , i cant look forward to those after noon naps or random dinners and snack in front of the tv..
i cant secretly hold ur hand in the movies and waiting for that secret kiss

so u just msged 1036, u arrive an hr before... anyway from here it starts, the waiting the thinking.. not sure where it will go...

maybe u regret saying all that u told me , maybe u dun ...

this morning

I woke up this morning 8 n was feeling so sad of my dream the night before

O dreamnt I read notes u wrote to a certain gal about how scared you were to be in a new relationship but but

Wanted to try it anyway with her

This person was not me... In my dream you took that plunghe I've been asking for...

I didn't want to think more of it n closed my eyes the next thing I knew I had the feeling pf excitement that I get to see you..

The feeling of seeing u was overwhelming but then the thought of it been the last crushed me

For now I wait n hope for a retuen

prayer

Dear God

I seem to always have you to lean my weary body n tired eyes

Wherever I may be or what ever time of day it is, I close my eyes n u are there to listen to my troubles

I strongly believe in this peace you have given to me in my heart

Because of this peace I'm holding onto faith

Please lead me thru this darkness n bring me the light..

My hope and faith is up to you God lead me the way you want me to go

If you allow room for regrets and a second change of life

There will be plenty of room for change n mending new things

In Jesus name I pray

Amen

it starts from here

Last night I had a peacful night, listening to the wind as it tried to creep in thru the craxk of my window

I hear blowing, its like trying to help me blow my problems away

Talking on the phone brought back dear memories that for a while I kept hidden, bringing them back made a smile

It also brought sadness not knowing what was going to happen next

Not having the control of being able to change things wil be the hardest but the best part is, "what if"

My path changed , a new start to what I want to achieve leaving those emotions that I had not away but aside till one day someone brings

Them back to me or I loose it bit by bit

Having regret is the biggest apology I can take


For now this is how it will be,

Missing what is gone its the hardest...realizing ur not needed anymore is hrder

If it takes time for someone to realize u r of importance to them let that time takes its place

True love is not a lie, it is kind caring loving patient understanding

I know where stand, in this winter alone again..

Spring time please come n take over my winter misery

continue to build

Building a relationshup is like a hs, time was spent on the first hs but was knocked down

It was not a good one, the draft has been made..

The foundation is now stronger with old parts at the bottomw

To hold the new hs up.. With stronger bogger bricks

One by one using twice the enegery twice the patience and twice the care

This hs will be twice as bright n strong then the old...

It is only possible in the mind of the builder...

A foundatipon is now set...

Time to build a new hs... No more holes
No more patching... It will look as good on the outside as it feels

On the inside...

Warm and full of joy, building is the best part, enjoying at the end is the best..

Xien ku ho tien...

Bitter first then sweet

Building is hrd but the joy of the end result was worth every tear sweat sadness laughyter n joy

no other

There is no other that will bring this feelong u gave to me..

Others r different, they all are different,

No other will turn my frown up so fast as u

No one gives me passion n the feeling of a new start everytime

No other will leave so much feeling for me to handle but none for themself

I believe in this so strongly that I have not let go

Ur giving me time, with time I wil know if I can let go or continue my patient

True love is hrd to obtain took 9 yrs...

Letting it go in a few days week or months would be a waste

time

The energy used to push one awat couldve been used to keep them

Finding ways out took mind effort but to want to keep it would have been the same

True love finds it way thru a crowd, took 8 yrs in this circustance

Once received it was taken away

The times away we spent argueing n fustrated but when we had the ability to see one another

U used that time to run away..

U didn't take time to stop n think abput what it could become

Putting aside ur ego n bad thoughts

U tell ur mind something but want another

Sometimes its the greatest pain that we need to overcome to see the brighter side

Think of positive things n hope along with faith

Pray for a miracle , over time I learnt to pray rely on oneself

If u want somethibg to happen we must put all we have into it, miracles do happen but in order for it to happen

We need to just put that little bit if effort into it.

True love is hard to come by,

Once found its not easily let go,

All it is is understanding patient and feelings

And willingness

I believbe in miracles hope you do too

10 steps to a better relationship

1)Take responsibility for your own actions. There is nothing more guaranteed to prolong conflict than creating half-baked excuses for bad behaviour, or blaming your other half for your actions. Whatever’s happened, remember to be honest and open when tackling the issue.

2)Apologise at the first possible opportunity. Saying sorry has an amazing ability to ease away tension but make sure it’s sincere or else you’ll simply be shooting yourself in the foot.

3)Listen. Instead of trying to justify your behaviour, make the effort to listen in respectful silence. Hear your partner out without butting in with excuses or making counter accusations. Yes, you might be worried about what you’ll hear, but if you don’t add fuel to the fire with ill-chosen words, your partner’s sense of grievance will subside much more quickly.

4)Talk about your feelings, not their behaviour. If you stick with “I” statements, rather you than “you” statements, your partner won’t feel criticised and will be far more likely to empathise with you (it’s known as creating a “safe dialogue”).

5)Take time out. Damaging words and behaviours surface in the heat of the moment. Learn to walk away from an argument and simply breathe for five to ten minutes if you feel you are getting angry. Better still, choose a word or phrase that you and your partner can use as a signal for “time out” and make sure you honour it.

6)Relationships need nurturing. You have to lavish time and care on them and each other if you want it to thrive, so schedule quality time together each week and make it your priority.

7)Make time to tell your partner how special he or she is. Be as specific as you can about what makes them special and why they mean so much to you. Not only will you both become more aware of your partner’s specialness, but in time he/she will probably say the same kind of things back to you.

8)Tell your partner how much you love them and do it on a daily basis. Never assume that he/she doesn’t need to be told or doesn’t like to hear all the things that you love about him/her.

9)Hug your partner daily. Virginia Satir said: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Why not go for growth?(when in long distance, picture it and text it, it is so much better then none at all )

10)Share laughter and joy daily. Make a conscious decision to share your successes and rejoice in theirs. What you focus on increases, so focus on what is great about the relationship and great about your life together and it will keep on getting better.

its gone...

Your feeling was blown away like a strong wind against the fallen leaves..

You lost it as - became closer to you, your afraid of true care and true love

You hurt those that care for you most withouth knowing it..

You were suppose to keep them by your side not push them off

You call me stubborn but no more theb you

Why promise me things you cannot keep and lie your way to get me

Long distance was the hardest part of what we had, you couldn't hang on cos your heart is else way now, it is no longer mine

I lost you once but I managed to find it back..

Once I got it back you took it again

You gave up on something that was amazing

Yoy let what we could have beocnme

Your lack of trust in yoursf

And in those around..

Kearning to be patient was hard but ecveryday I tried my best

Everyday I'm learnbing to b a better person hoping everytime we szaw one another

We would feel more, but as time comes closer to seeing you , u run away u destroy me u ignore me

U have no care for me anymore

again

another day, the sun is setting ...catch a glimpse of the red sunshine thru the window

sitting her all alone, my heart shouldnt feel as though im alone it should be filled though u are so far awy,

.
ur theory and mine dont even fit... ur is that if we talk all day at nite we have nothing to say , ur wrong it cos we talk during the day we will have more at nites, we wont be tired of thinking of what we should say ,

if u seriously have too wonder what conversation to have, u have a problem ...
not once have i wondered what we should talk about...

i feel uneasy bin silences knowing u are thinking oh no what do i say next,

its so forceful from your end...


claim certain things but i feel anther...

fustration ....

only,

you will never succed in dreams if u never look past the past and look towards the future.

looking back and regretting decisions will only effect the outcome of what is to come,

look forward and see how and what we can do to change, look forward and u will see more clearly,

isnt it better to see a clearer sky then the dark clouds up above,

God helps those who help themselves,

certain things cannot be told only for you to figure out what you want, and only you have the power to change how it turns out.

sometimes

sometimes just sometimes... we dont want to see reality we want to reach our goals...
in order to do so we need to sacrifice,

words are to be gently spoken, sometimes we don't need to be so straightforward, think before we speak...

"i'm trying to say as the time passes by, i'm gonna see you less and less and most probably the feelings will go away... its just reality..

that is painful , painful reality ... especially when u dont see it happening and it hits you like nothing before..

words said used to be fight back with angry from within me, now i sit n listen to what u have to say...i listen to what you want and one, we will both get what we want, either happiness or sadness for one or both parties

with God lays our future...

mending

a heart can be broken so many times , but each time it can be mended but with each mend it leaves a little scar,

with time these scars may slowly disappear .... with love it layers on top of these scars and slowly it fades away ...

long distance

Love has no barriers and no distances. The distance may be far but from within the heart the relationship of love is a very close one. It is only the long distance that keeps the lovers apart.

Miles and miles and miles apart.
Although so far you've touched my heart.
Your laugh, your voice, your adoring smile,
Seem to shorten every mile.

by Panda When it hurts so bad,
why does it feel so good?
I wish this all made sense,
I wish I understood.
Not having you here with me is tearing me up inside,
but I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.

You know how I feel about you,
and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you,
but it's so hard to do when I can't even be next to you.
Why does it gotta be so complicated?

Loving you feels so right,
but at the same time,
knowing I can't have you keeps me awake at night.
I just want this to be simple,
I just want you here with me,
to look into your eyes,
be held in your arms...then I'd truly be happy.

Right now this distance between us is out of our control,
but I'm still hoping one day soon,
I'll get what I'm wishing for.

It was just another dream

it seems whenever i write in here, im down ..

again ive been let go, in ways this time i cannot explain the feelings that run thru my body

that cold uneasy feel , heart beating fast and fingers shaky as I type

how can someone make one feel like this

to aim for a goal is to work hard, patient and care

just like cooking the more love and care u have for it the better it tastes, and the first round is

never as best

giving up is the easiest way out... but not the best way out

hard work pays off,

nothing great is easy to achieve.

thoughts

to be happy with a man, u must understand him alot and love him a little.

to be happy with a woman, you must love her alot and not try to understand her at all..

learned...

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'
I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

why

how are loved ones able to say nasty thigns tat are so hurtful,
be told that we can be irratating to them,

why is it so scary to hear good things from the other, but not as scary to hear the bad things

why is the feeling so overpowering that we become sleepless

sometimes i want to hide from the world and crawl away , do you think people would miss me then or realize I did exist but its too late now..

lifes a mystery... we dont know how long we will be around for or how long we are able to love....

hold close to what you want and need

ANOTHER DAY